


We Played in the Sand

by StellarOwl



Category: HLVRAI- FANDOM, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Childhood Memories, Gen, Maybe - Freeform, No Romance, Not A Game AU, it's so we don't annoy the regular HL fans as much, or maybe I'm just overly emotional, when they search for fics about regular HL Gordon, yes I called him Feetman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27845614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarOwl/pseuds/StellarOwl
Summary: OK so, what if Benry did play with Gordon when they were kids, but Gordon doesn't remember/believe him because little kid alien Benry looked absolutely nothing like what he does today? What if he was so strange, in fact, that Gordon wrote off their brief interactions as some kind of wacky fever dream?And then 20 years later, Gordon's sitting there in Chuck E. Cheese's and he just randomly remembers that thing from when he was little, and he's like,"OH HOLY COW. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME"
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	1. A Realization

Gordon Freeman was 7 years old, and he was staying home from school because he was sick. He was not happy with this. Unlike a lot of kids in his class (weirdos, he thought), he actually liked learning things. Not that he probably could’ve paid attention anyway, today, but that didn’t matter to him. What mattered was that he could be learning some cool stuff, but he was stuck here, sitting on the couch, doing nothing. He was bored. He took another sip of apple juice and pulled his blanket up higher.

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but at some point, he woke up and looked out the window. There was some shimmery blue puddle in the backyard, but as far as he knew, it hadn’t rained. It also didn’t quite look like water, so he went to see what it was. In the puddle, which was sort of gooey, was a small, lime-green plastic Halloween skeleton with spider decals on the skull. Any adult would probably find it tacky, but Gordon thought it looked pretty neat. He went to pick it up, but the puddle sort of stuck to it (it was a puddle of thick glitter-glue, he decided) so he left the skeleton there. He didn’t want to get all gooey. He could get in trouble for that.

Then the skeleton sort of sunk into the glitter glue, or the glitter glue rose up around it, and shaped itself around the skeleton. Gordon was startled, but... not really scared. He was mostly intrigued. He had sort of a dream-like feeling, like these bizarre happenings could be perfectly normal. The glue-skeleton creature opened three eyes and held out a hand for a handshake. Gordon still didn’t want to get his hands sticky, but as he watched, the creature’s hand changed, appearing less like runny glue and more like rubber, so he shook it.

“Are you an alien?” He asked. The creature opened a small, cartoonish mouth- actually, the whole creature looked rather cartoonish- and sang a little tune that somehow was also colors. Gordon took that as a “yes”. He asked the alien if it wanted to be friends, and it nodded. They spent a while playing in the sandbox together. Gordon eventually went back inside because he was thirsty. After drinking the rest of his apple juice and using the bathroom, he decided to go back to sleep. When he got up and looked out the window again, there was no skeleton or alien or puddle of glitter glue. It wasn't there anymore. Maybe he had dreamed it.

* * *

Twenty years later, Gordon was on an alien planet fighting for his life against the man who had cut his arm off. Well, “man” might not have been the right word. “Reality-bending eldritch security guard” would be a more accurate description. So would “passport-obsessed creep with a skeleton army”. And so would “non-human menace who can sing in colors.” Actually, the “singing in colors” thing seemed sort of familiar. Probably something on some kids’ TV show that he used to watch. But this giant alien was going on and on about how he had always been good, how he had only been trying to help, and how they had been friends once. And all of those were lies. Benry had never done anything helpful through their entire adventure. Their first meeting was when Benry tried to stop him from getting to where he needed to be. They had never been remotely friendly.

And when had they ever played in the mud and sand together? The only sand they had encountered was outdoors, in the desert, when they were running away from soldiers and the Helicopter Heap. Maybe it was a game for _him._ He couldn’t stay dead. He just respawned like a- like a video game character or something. But Gordon had never played along. Of course, he hadn’t! It was life or death, and he had his incredibly reckless friends (when had he started calling them his friends?) to look after. He didn’t have _time_ to stop and play in the sand, least of all with Benry. So, what on earth was he talking about?

Well, it didn’t matter. Benry had all the passports, and he needed to be stopped. He was- had always been- standing between them and getting out. When Benry died, he was sure, they’d be able to get out of this- this bizarre fever dream of an alien dimension. (Was this the desperation that the Coomer Clones had felt when they tried to kill him? He couldn’t remember it very clearly, but one of them said something about going to the “real world” or something. It kind of made him feel bad for a moment, but he was fighting for his life here, and at this point, morality was kind of out the window.) So, he kept fighting. There was a system to it: they got teleported to another area, and there was a passport, and they destroyed it, and ended up back in the bossfight room. He was on a roll. He knew what he had to do, and if his life hadn't been in danger, it would've even been fun.

* * *

After the battle, he was sitting in Chuck E. Cheese’s (it was a restaurant, no matter what Tommy’s dad said), drinking a large cup of Sprite. He had eaten some of the pizza, a lot of pizza, actually- he was so hungry that he had considered eating one of his weapons at one point- but the pizza tasted awful, and he was trying to get the taste out of his mouth now that he’d eaten it. Sitting in a Chuck E. Cheese’s with a cyborg, a… a demigod? And a “perfect” test-tube human with fire powers, after they had caused an alien zombie apocalypse and defeated some kind of eldritch horror that had been disguised as a security guard, was never something he’d pictured doing. He’d never pictured anything even remotely like it. But he was safe, and his friends were safe (and not chasing after “ropes” or pointing guns at anything and everything or whispering behind his back), and they were all here and he had his arm back. Right now, things were pretty good. He could relax. It was kind of nostalgic, sitting there in Chuck E. Cheese's, too. He really hadn’t been to one of these places in a while. Not that he’d missed it; loud parties were never really his thing, even as a kid, but all the same. There was something about coming back to a place you hadn’t visited for a long time. Honestly, he just wanted to take a nap. Maybe find a couch somewhere around here, and-

There was a skeleton standing outside the window. He knew who it was, it was Benry, and he didn’t want to deal with that right now. But then something happened, maybe he looked out the window from a different angle, or maybe it was the nostalgia, or the concept of taking a nap on a couch, how big his soda cup felt in his hands, or any number of things that he saw or felt or was thinking about, and he made a connection.

_Oh, snap. That’s-_

_That was real? That was him?_

Everything came together like a lightning-fast collage being assembled.

_Sweet voice orbs- backyard- alien- couch- puddle- blue- rainbow singing- skeleton- played together- that’s where he knew me from_

_Holy cow._

_Holy cow, I think I messed up._


	2. He still doesn't like parties, Guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone said it would be cool if I continued this. I agreed. I don't have a particular direction, but at least I have an idea for one thing that would happen next. So, here it is.
> 
> ~Gordon lets Benry into the party~
> 
> Also, apologies for the crummy chapter title. I actually could not think of anything else.

Logically, knowing that he had met Benry before shouldn't have changed anything, and Gordon knew that. He had only hung out with Benry for one afternoon when he was, like, seven. There were plenty of people he encountered only once like that, and it was entirely possible that he had met them again later and just didn't recognize them. Even some of his acquaintances from work, people he saw every day, he barely knew. (Honestly, at this point, most of them were probably dead, and he wasn't even crying. Man, he really was heartless.) So why'd he feel bad about this in particular?

Because it did change something. It meant that Benry hadn't been lying when he said they'd been friends, that they'd played in the sand together. It also meant that it was important to Benry, if he'd held onto it for this long. He'd shown up at Black Mesa one day- probably just shapeshifted to look like a guard and walked right in- and seen Gordon and recognized him somehow. He'd expected a friendly greeting, a "Yo, I missed you!" or a "How's it going, dude?" But instead he got Gordon yelling at him about the passport policy, which was _perfectly justified, by the way. They didn't have a passport policy! Benry was blocking the way for his own enjoyment, like always._ But still, maybe his actions weren't quite as antagonistic as Gordon had thought. Maybe he- he really did think they were just playing. And if _he_ were an alien and his only interaction with a particular human had been when they were a half-asleep little kid, Gordon knew he certainly wouldn't be prepared to see the same person as an impatient, stressed-out adult.

He should probably at least give an apology.

How was he even going to start with this? _"Hey, Benry, I'm sorry for killing you because we hung out once as kids, but I'm also kind of not because you were still a major jerk and I wanted to survive." "I've just realized that you weren't lying, please don't kill me."_ He figured he'd just have to make it up as he went, since planning didn't seem to be going well. He opened the door and addressed the skeleton in the parking lot.

"Hi. So, uh, remember during the- the boss fight, when you said..." Okay holy cow. That dead skeleton stare was terrifying. He couldn't tell at all what Benry was thinking. That was always the case, of course, but even more so now. He was just standing there, staring, like an omen of death.

"Rememberwhenyousaidweusedtobefriends? Well, we were. You were right. We were friends for _two hours_ when we were kids. Happy?" ...Okay, that didn't go well. He hadn't meant to yell at him, but he had panicked. Better fix this ASAP.

"Sorry, I didn't mean- I meant you were right, and I'm sort of angry, but I shouldn't have-"

"yo, can I come inside?"

"What?" Was he seriously- did he not pay attention to this entire thing? He wasn't mad, or gloating that he was right, or-

"gotta clean your ears out. said 'can i come inside'. little winners party you got there, huh? feeling left out"

"Oh, uh," Well, maybe this would be a good start. To fixing things. (Or... building things? Did it count as fixing if the thing had always been broken?) "Sure. Go ahead. Come on in."

"can't"

"What do you mean? Oh, wait. Am I in the way?" Gordon stepped back through the door. Benry shook his head.

"can't"

Gordon threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm not blocking the way! Is it like- is it like the vampire thing? Where you- because _I said_ you could come in! So you can't just- you're messing with me. You're messing with me, aren't you. Well, you can stay out there if you want! I- I don't have a problem with that!" He shouldn't have come out here. He could've just forgotten about it, found a couch and taken a nap. Could've just kept enjoying the party- well, he hadn't really been enjoying the _party_ , had he? Just the fact that he didn't have to fight anything. But still, he should have known that talking to Benry wouldn't go well. He stormed back into the building.

"Are... Gordon, what's the matter?" It was weird to hear Tommy call him by his first name. He kind of appreciated it, though.

"Freakin'... Benry."

"Oh, uh, what about Benry?"

"He just- He said he wanted to come inside, and I said 'sure, come on in' and he said 'can't'. There was nothing blocking his way! He is doing this _just_ to annoy me."

"I think- I think I might know what the problem is," Tommy answered. He stood up and walked over to where his dad was standing, staring out the window.

"Benry's standing outside the door. He... he wants to join the party."

_"I know. He is not... allowed. I have... taken, safety measures. For your party."_

"He didn't hurt me, even in the bos-- the big battle. He didn't want to hurt the others, either."

_"And?"_

"And can you please let him in? For my birthday."

_"Alright. I will... lift, some of the restrictions. But remember that he is... dangerous, you would not want a re-peat of the, battle, hmm?"_

"Thank you!" Tommy jogged back over to the table. "Okay, Mr. Freeman, he should be able to come through now." Gordon walked back to the door to let Benry into the building, for real this time.

"Okay, Benry, the door's open now. No, uh, force fields or anything this time. Uh. Sorry for, for yelling at you. You really didn't deserve it. This time." How the heck was this supposed to work? Conversations were already a weak point for him. How was he expected to converse with an eldritch horror who had fought him to the death, that he had _also_ apparently judged unfairly?

"Anyway, wanna come in? We, uh, have soda."

"pog," Benry said, and glided past Gordon into the Chuck E. Cheese's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewatched the ending, and, fun fact, the skeleton is inside the building, goofing off with everyone else. So, this totally could be what happened.
> 
> Benry: "the greatest trick Tommy's dad ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet"  
> Gordon: "Why'd you get banned?"  
> Benry: "touched the rat"  
> Gordon: "What rat?"  
> Benry: "chunky cheese"
> 
> Also, do you guys maybe want to see backstory for Benry later? Like, a flashback chapter from his perspective? Because I think that might be neat. But IDK if you guys want it, or if you think it wouldn't fit right or something.


	3. I Like Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's Benry thinking tho? Flashback scenes from the beginning of the game, up to just before Gordon lets Benry into the Chuck E. Cheese's.  
> Chapter title taken from the beginning of the bossfight monologue: "I like everything. I'm a big cool. I feel a good, but you make me angry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise third chapter! You're welcome!

Benry... liked everything. That's how he always described it. He was chill. A big cool, a good friend. Maybe he pestered his fellow gamers, but that's just because he liked them. And he was up for any kinda game, really. Currently, he was playing at being a security guard. Had to stop people from stealing stuff. And Gordon yelled at him, which made him the opponent, right? Probably gonna steal something. Didn't even have a passport. _Lookin kinda sus, bro..._ And he was so bad at it! So tense! He was _blatantly_ hiding something.

So he kinda hammed it up. Pestering Gordon about the passport, taunting him with the fact that he knew he was gonna steal. Watching him get all flustered and panicked as he tried to lie his way out of it. Wasn't sure _what_ he was gonna steal- probably that crystal. That looked valuable. Man, this was fun! Just like the old days. Except back then he hadn't known how to use human words. Sweet Voice was useful, sure, and he still loved it, but uhh, human words? Way more funny. Make little repeating noises with their weird specificness. Insults too. Man, there were a lot of insults. It was awesome.

He was a little confused when Gordon pushed the cool rock into the laser instead of bolting for the door- what kinda strat was he going for? And then the room exploded. Benry noclipped reflexively and was shoved through the walls. He didn't mind. It was cool in the walls, lots of angles and stuff. He realized he should probably get back to Gordon, the explosion was probably supposed to be a distraction. He'd be like halfway to the door with the crystal by now. Not like Benry would be too upset if Gordon won, either. They're still friends. But he wasn't just gonna give up his win.

When he came out of the walls and found that the gamemode had changed, he didn't mind. He thought it was pretty sweet. Look at all these "creatures", as Tommy called them. Oh, Tommy was playing too? Nice. POG. (POG was one of Benry's favorite words. It meant both "cool" and "play of game". Two things which defined him.) And the clone guy and the tube guy, too. So it was them vs the creatures. And they had to get out of the building. Nice. He'd let the others take the lead. Wasn't much of a leader himself. Not much of a team player in general. He liked the company, but he was used to playing by himself.

Man, they really couldn't work together at all, could they? Messing up all the time, as Benry commented to another guard. But even though it was his own team doing the messing up, he wasn't mad. It was pretty funny, actually. Coomer wanted to kill everyone, Bubby wanted to be like a little punk rock baby with his graffiti, Tommy- well, Tommy was doing mostly okay. Gordon seemed to have taken the role of Team Leader, and was not happy with their performance. He also seemed not happy with Benry. Looked kinda like he wanted to still be opponents. Wanted to still be on opposite sides. Well, Benry could work with that. Four against one- well, Tommy probably wouldn't want to fight him, so three against one- not fair, dude. He'd need a teammate of his own. How about... Bubby? Bubby had some powers kinda like his own. Fire, shapeshifting. They could coordinate and stuff.

Gordon was taking this too seriously. He hadn't even killed him! And look- he even got an upgrade outta this whole thing! So why- why all the hatred? He had made Gordon laugh a couple times. He knew he was having fun with this. Just for fun, just for lolz. And then Gordon kept trying to kill him, when he had just respawned. Still in skeleton mode. Vulnerable, wimpy. What a troll. And Gordon said that Benry was actively blocking their progress or something. As if that wasn't the point. As if he hadn't asked to go PVP. He was trying to be patient. But usually, he didn't even have to try. He liked any game that was thrown at him. He could adapt. Teammates, too. If they were nice, they were nice and if they weren't, they were funny. But to be real, he hadn't hung out with that many people, other than Forzen and Tommy. And when he met Gordon however many years ago, he'd seemed like a good sport. Maybe he'd changed. Little bit toxic, TBH.

And uhh, from what Forzen had taught him, toxic players gotta get banned. And he didn't have the authority to do that, really (that's why Tommy's dad had beef with him) but he did have hacks. Not the noclip and stuff, that was just normal, but there were things he could do. Just had to get the passports. Turn'em into... like, End Crystals. From Minecraft, heal him up. Get a bunch more skeletons to help out.

Okay, so maybe he didn't really wanna fight. It was kinda unfair. And it would hurt them. Dying is a pain. But even if he didn't, it was clear that Gordon did. And well, those were the rules, he couldn't just _not_ fight if Gordon was fighting him. Gordon wanted a fight to the death, that's- that's fine. Didn't mean he had to get Tommy involved. He tried to keep his attacks away from Tommy. Even if Tommy was pretty durable, wasn't really fair. Kinda weird what he said about "we need to understand" though. What was there to understand? Yeah it was a little, kinda chaotic in here, but he liked it. Felt good. Gordon was the only thing making him angry right then. Gordon was the only thing right then that he couldn't understand. But he understood enough.

Standing outside the pizza place, he wondered if he actually hadn't understood enough. Tommy's dad locked him out for hacks, which- fair, he guessed. But Gordon was still at the party, despite his attitude. Didn't think the G-man would want someone like that hanging out with his kid. So. Maybe there was a reason Gordon was taking it so seriously?

He figured it didn't really matter. Shame they weren't friends anymore tho. That would've been POG.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Not a Game, but Benry doesn't exactly understand that. (Basically, with his respawns and all, Benry experiences the world much like a game, and thus finds it easier to think about in game terms- why he talks like a gamer and such. He also doesn't realize that humans can't respawn.)
> 
> Hey, quick question: I had this idea to take character quotes and write something based on them. Like this chapter for instance. I kinda want to do one for Dr. Coomer's "My power grows!" quote. But should I add it in another chapter here, or should I make another, separate work for these sorts of things?

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry if this is a mess, or if someone's done this already, or any other issues (IDK), I just had the idea in my head and I had to write it, and it looked good to me so I decided to post it.
> 
> Also sorry if you came here looking for Real Angst(TM) and thought this was too soft, or if the tags otherwise confused you. I have no idea how to tag this, really. I figured maybe it qualified since I cried while I was writing it, although I cry at more than just sad things, and the playlist I was listening to may have also affected my mood and opinion.
> 
> IDK I've just had this idea for a while that whatever Benry is would look very different as a kid than human kids do, and I kind of wanted to play with that idea a little.


End file.
